Are you afraid?

“I have an overwhelming amount of love inside me, just waiting to be given.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I am afraid of Love.”

Source: http://hdwallpaper2013.com/love/broken-heart-love-pictures-hd-wallpaper.html
Source: http://hdwallpaper2013.com/love/broken-heart-love-pictures-hd-wallpaper.html

“I have an overwhelming amount of love inside me, just waiting to be given.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I am afraid of Love.”
“Why?”
“I am afraid I will exhaust all of it at the start. By then, I would’ve set such a high level of expectation of myself that any fall in my expression would lead to disappointments.”
“Why do you think so?”
“Because some day, my tank of Love may dry up. I would never forgive myself for letting my loved ones down or taking them for granted.”
“Has it happened before?”
“Yes. I have fallen out of love.”
“Why did that happen?”
“I simply moved on in life.”
“Did you stop feeling for that person?”
“Not really. I still love them. But in a different way.”
“There you go. Your supply of Love is unending. It never ends.”
“But I did fall out of love.”
“Who, apart from your parents, has been longest in your life?”
“My best friend.”
“Did you stop loving your friend? Take them for granted?”
“No, in fact I still feel an overwhelming amount once in a while.”
“Again, proves your fear wrong.”
“But I did let her go for a few years in the middle. I wasn’t a good friend. I let her down.”
“Who doesn’t like to waver from the paths? What matters is you’re back together, today.”
“But what if I fail to remain this passionate once I am bogged down with life later on? Today, I am young. I may not feel so when I am older.”
“Why do you think age will change you as a person?”
“I have changed regularly over the years. Why should that stop going forward? Along with the change, my likes and dislikes have changed. Things I love have varied. Why should that not happen again?”
“Is there nothing that has remained constant about you, your character? Not your likes and dislikes. That’s temperamental like the weather. Who you are, deep inside, never changes completely. Otherwise, you would retain your best friend after all these years, would you?”
“Hmmm. True. But what if the person I chose to fall in love doesn’t remain?”
“That, my dear friend, is the risk you have to take. It is not just about trusting your partner, but your own self and your choices.”
“What if I never know what I really want, caught in the vagaries of change?”
“You will. Trust your gut. Trust your intuition. If not, then trust the universe.”
“I hope so.”

A Bed of Memories

Memories. We collect them all our lives like roses from a bed of flowers. Like shells from the sea floor.
Usually, they bring a smile on our face. As we relive those moments, often innocuous and barely noteworthy. Yet, they are the ones that manage to fill our hearts up with emotion.
Sometimes, these very memories leave a bitter taste in our mouths.


Memories. We collect them all our lives like roses from a bed of flowers. Like shells from the sea floor.
Usually, they bring a smile on our face. As we relive those moments, often innocuous and barely noteworthy. Yet, they are the ones that manage to fill our hearts up with emotion.
Sometimes, these very memories leave a bitter taste in our mouths. We go to great lengths to avoid some memories. Even the good ones. Those hurt more.
They make you feel the magnificence of time. Throw the differences in sharp relief.
It never ceases to amaze me.
Last year, I would’ve celebrated memories with my friend or some loved one. Today, in their absence, the very same memory chokes me and fills my heart with longing and sorrow.
It’s a never ending circle.
I had mistakenly believed that it was an error on my part to make myself vulnerable with people who I knew were not trustworthy. I thought guards would safeguard me from any pain and suffering.
Today, I realised that guards only jail you inside the confines of your mind. You are never really free. And it is not about being trustworthy; it is simply a passage of time. What comes has to go.
Just because people don’t remain doesn’t mean they never were loyal, trustworthy and truthful. Their time was up. That’s all. In my life, that is.
That shouldn’t stop me from opening up, being vulnerable and making memories.
After all, when I am 80 years old, a frail lady, these memories will serve me company. They will be the stories I could tell kids and grandkids.
And thus, life goes on.