Loneliness lies between your fingers


The loneliness lies in the invisible nooks and crevices of your life. An inevitable stamp that coats every fibre of your being, separating you from the world.

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Loneliness lies in the crevices between your fingers that were once filled. It’s like the skin there is marked with the knowledge and remembrance. And it now calls to relive the experience of another skin. Of your friend, your child or your parent. Or maybe even the distant lover who refuses to leave that deep set corner of your mind.

Loneliness, it sometimes is in the invisible outline of a hand at the small of your back. It’s in the memory of a time in another lifetime of being held and maybe even loved. And sometimes, it’s in the caresses showered on your body, when your thighs rested against his. When your chest lined her back as support. Or in the nape where their shoulder met their neck, the place where your cheeks and nose rested in love. And in the laugh-lined crinkle of your eyes that were once alive with joy. Or in the fullness of your lips that their tongue once explored.

Loneliness lies in the warmth that once coated your body, and has now seeped into your soul. A warmth that oddly now leaves you cold and shivering on a balmy night.

And sometimes, loneliness stares back at you from the dark ceiling of your room, on a starry sleepless night. And if you decide to go for a stroll, it reflects in the night’s moon and the stars, which once held all the hopes and dreams of a happy future, but now seem distant and lifeless. And when the day’s tiredness slowly pulls your lids shut, the loneliness falls from the ceiling to softly drape over you and the empty space next to you. It’s the thick warm quilt you snuggle under.

Loneliness, my friend, is not in the solitude. It’s in the company, or lack thereof. It’s in the outside world. And in the memories that line the inside of your mind, like a million movies playing continuously non-stop. Or in the gaps and spaces in your heart.

Loneliness lies in the very nerve endings of your skin, that’s now exposed to their absence, perhaps for ever.

6 thoughts on “Loneliness lies between your fingers

  1. Short but well-written. There’s a nice blend of personal and philosophical – which has been the hallmark of your writing for a while now. This good mix of emotional and analytical/intellectual is something that I’m envious of, and it seems to come seamlessly to you. It grounds your blog-posts and your writing to a personal ethos which makes the subject-matter being discussed more emotionally resonant in a more visceral way, than it would otherwise have been if it is only discussed in purely analytical/philosophical terms. Contrast this with my writing: I have a Triple-PhD in abstract, impersonal, clinical, analytical, cerebral, well-articulated, heavy dense philosophical stuff, but which lacks emotional and personal warmth, and thereby perhaps doesn’t make as much of a resonant dent in readers. Someday, hopefully, I’ll be able to draw from my own emotional/personal reserves and write in a way that’s a good mix of cerebral and personal. But for that, first, perhaps I need to have a more rich tapestry of life-experiences and a diverse range of ups-and-downs, and a more eclectic range of People-to-People associations. A writer, after all, can only draw inspiration based on his/her own life-experiences, world-views and belief-templates. Until such time (which could be a while), of course, I’ll keep coming to your blog to read your well-articulated thoughts. Do keep writing!

    On the subject of “Loneliness”, I’ll leave my 2 cents (extracts from my blog):

    The journey of life and the human condition is characterized at the most fundamental level by an intrinsic and ingrained sense of loneliness – from birth to death – because human perception of pleasure & pain, of joy & grief, of every conceivable emotion and every possible state of mind – is entirely solipsistic (i.e. entirely contained within one’s own mind). The key is to make peace with it, and to not dwell in it too much. One way to do this is by being keenly attuned to sensory inputs around you – including and especially other people’s feelings and actions.

    Another direct result of the Solipsistic Lens of Self-Centered Sensation/Perception is the fact that our own pain/pleasure is so viscerally and urgently evident to us, while the pain/pleasure of others somehow needs to be communicated to us externally – in ways that severely dilute its urgency or potency. Part of the challenge of human existence, therefore, is to transcend the internal prison of perception where the Self is at the center of all sensation, and to purposefully strive to actively sense & respond to the needs of others. <<
    [ Reference: http://wp.me/p3TajM-1i ]

    In other words, being attuned to other people is both a fulfilling and daunting challenge, while also being a Key Antidote to Loneliness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A heartfelt thank you, Rajiv. I wish these words would come more often to me as they used to earlier. But now, they are as rare as a dime. Ergo, (as you would have noticed), the updates are slower than ever.

      Hopefully, words like yours and others would keep me enchanted and encourage me to write more.

      Like

      1. Yes understandable. It happens. Life is hectic and fast-paced. Sometimes, there’s not much to say, because of lack of inspiration, mostly because nothing much is “happening” which causes us to self-reflect; we are too occupied with the rat-race or routine of life. Sometimes, there’s a lot to say but you don’t have the energy or inclination to sit down and pen your thoughts. Sometimes, you don’t find the words to say it even though you are gripped by powerful evocative feelings. And underneath it all, there’s a sense of fatalistic existential resignation that none of it matters much (the readership stats can be especially sobering). So yea, I understand. Been there, done that. Still doing it. But despite all this, do take the time to write every now and then. If nothing else, write for yourself. As you know, it’s a good way of catharsis and cleansing. And of reinforcing certain neuronal pathways, of reminding yourself of certain realizations, of giving words to your contemplation and of “keeping the truth up-front in daily consciousness” as DFW says. So, keep writing. I (and others) will keep reading. Cheers.

        Liked by 1 person

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