Thank you so much. You are teaching me so much by being absent. So many meaningful life lessons.
You’ve taught me that there will be times when you have to single handedly hold on to the threads of the relationship in this tug of war with loss. You let go, and you lose—you lose so much. But if you hold on, oh the joy it could bring!
But at other times , you taught me that there will be times when it’s important to let go. For what is a better teacher than loss. Sometimes, it’s the very loss of something that brings you closer to it. That brings you closer to me.
Then, there’s the lesson you’ve taught me about the different types of effort, pain, and hurt. The pain that holding on brings, and the hurt that letting go carves in your being.
How different are they!
Yet, like an investment, one reaps a return at the end of the
waiting holding period. And the other, like a mindless expense, takes you on the road to debt and liabilities. Baggage too. So much extra baggage on your shoulders that may be uncalled for.
Oh, and thank you for introducing me to Hope—she’s a frustrating but happy person whom you want and don’t want to be around. Hope, who keeps whispering in your ears about fortunes yet to be unlocked at the end of this tiring, hard level. Hope—the likes of which keeps a gamer going on and on despite tired hands and eyes. It’s the fire that’s lit in your soul that eggs you on, doesn’t it?
But a request—can you help me keep Disappointment away? He keeps whispering in my other ear that Hope is lying. That maybe, letting go would be easier. That maybe, there isn’t much to hold on to. Maybe you can take him away with you to whatever far away place you’re
lost in. He’s tiring. Very much so.
By God, you’ve taught me this big lesson—the power of memory to reconfirm and reaffirm your decisions. For sometimes, it’s not about what lies at the end of the dark tunnel. Sometimes, it’s about what you had in the past and what you really really really dream for in the next chapter of your life.
Thank you for reminding me that I’m in this because of what I want, and what I want to give—not just because of what I’ll get in the future. For aren’t you with a friend because of a deep love you feel for them instead of what they do for you?
And most importantly, this valuable lesson—deep inside me lies a lava of fiery power and strength. To keep aflame the fickle lights of want. To assuage in a vacuum. To keep adding threads extending this thin bond. To carry on.
Lots of love and strength,
Someone who awaits your return